Hello people of God,
This is a reply to our last post. If you haven’t read it
yet, you should hold on and click here to read first.
Is it okay to marry a Muslim?
This question sparked a stream of conversation from those
who saw reason with people that might consider it to those who were outrightly
against it. Where do you stand? This is what God says:
'Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has
righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?'
2 Cor 6:14
2 Cor 6:14
Well, the
bible clearly says no but what if he/she treats you better than that Christian Brother
or sister? We need to come to understand
the fact that we are not marrying religion but character. Hold up! This doesn’t
mean I’m endorsing it – Just read to the end.
Let's face
reality though - as guys, you want to be respected and as ladies you want to be
loved first of all. This is usually the first thing you get attracted to in a
person of the opposite sex. There are specific qualities you admire as an
individual and these also fuel the attraction usually before you get to the
'religion' base. There are certain 'Christians' who are monsters so to speak
but hide under the cover of that title. One thing we should understand is that
just because the other person is Christian doesn't give them access to your
mind based on the Jesus connection. You still need to talk, let them know how
you feel tell them what you think is okay and what isn't because lack of
communication is one major cause of failed relationships. It seems easier to
communicate with someone of a different background or faith because we actually
take time out to explain certain things to them that we assume 'same faith
partners' know.
Back to the
issue, is it okay since we're talking about character here? I have just three
things to say.
1. You're not just marrying the man, you're
marrying his family
The thing most single people fail to realize is that
marriage is not just you and him or you and her. As much as you are on your
own, we are in Africa. The extended family is a big part of marriage therefore
their opinions about you matter to a large extent. This is not to say that they
would form the basis of your decisions but I like to say that forever is a VERY
LONG time so you don't want to get on their bad side if it can be avoided.
2. You need to have the same basic value
system with your spouse
Raising kids in this day and age is tough enough without
the parents having extreme opinions about basic things. The couple needs to
have one stand on a lot of issues and if the core of your value system is Christianity
then you can't have the same value system. There's that tendency to water the
truths of scripture, which you believe, down just so you won't offend them. Where
does that leave your kids? The differences can even become a hindrance in your
personal walk with Christ. God has chosen you for a reason. Are you going to be
able to fulfill it?
Gen 18:19
''For I have chosen (you), so that (you)
will direct (your) children and (your) household after (you) to keep the way of
the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for
(you) what he has promised (you)."
3. You need to redefine character
Character is the mental and moral qualities
distinctive to an individual. As wholesome as this sounds, there is something
missing - not to go all spiritual on you but the God in you isn't the god in
them. A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian woman because as the head of
the home, he decides how the children are raised and you generally can't shake
his faith but a Muslim lady can't marry a Christian guy for about the same
reasons - that's raising another generation without Christ. The Jesus in them
factor is very crucial to developing character. Character is built based on
background and circumstances but what if the situation changed, would his/her
character change?
At this
point, some might say 'I'm not marrying her/him, we're just dating', and my
question is 'To what end'? You're compounding your problems because when you
eventually start dating that good Christian girl and there's something the
Muslim did that she didn't do, then you have a basis for comparison. It's not
like she's not treating you right but as much as she makes up in other areas,
there's that one thing she doesn't do! Don't worry about time - that's the
issue most Christian girls (or generally African females) are faced with when
it comes to marriage. This brings me to 'Are Christians allowed to date?', but
we would tackle that in another post.
On a lighter
and slightly related note, everyone should see the movie 'Too Saved'.
In
conclusion, prepare to be the right person first - It's easier to find the
right person that way because unlike the laws of nature - Like poles CAN
attract.
What do you
think?
P.S. The
retreat starts on Wednesday. Singles mingle, Couples double – No be me talk am
oh. Na so dem advertise for church *wink* Anyway if you haven’t paid, PAY TODAY
oh!!! I decided to post this today so I can pack tomorrow :D
See you
there!
God's Girl.
