Should Married Women have fun? What’s your Stand?

Do I like women? No! Actually, I LOVE women…starting with my mum! I personally believe that if there were no women in life, the world would have been a very boring place. Women add most of the fun to a man’s life! I’m not ashamed to admit it. More so, women make men valuable. I was told in those days, a man is valued in terms of how many wives he is married to... (Warning: Do NOT practice my last statement…LOL!) Sometimes, I try to put myself in a woman’s shoes (in my imagination) and I see a wide disparity between a married and an unmarried woman. If the life of an unmarried woman was the left leg of a shoe, then life of a married woman is the left leg of an entirely different shoe. I just couldn’t wear both.


I will take my personal experiences as a case study (you know I always like to talk from experience…LOL!) I used to have a bosom friend. When she was single, my friends and I were her close companions. We would play with her, tease her the way she enjoys, see her off to as far as the ends of the earth (exaggeration), help her fetch water, even her neighbor would share his generator with her when NEPA was out, and some other ‘mumu' things I wouldn’t mention here. Our relationship with her was not necessarily as a result of our admiration for her but more of the fact that she was a ‘friendly kind.’ Even though she was quite pretty, we weren’t ‘expectant.’


The pretty girl got married and that changed everything. It was as if the bridge to her fantasy land had been severed, living her with a tiny rope for just one person in her life (it’s now left to her husband to recreate her new world). The unfair side of the coin is that, the lucky husband still kept his own ‘bridges’, even though those bridges were now ‘guarded.’


I know scores of female friends that I have lost contact with simply because they are married (this is not to frighten my female friends anyway…I trust NEBC to keep us togetherJ). Once in a while, they call to tell me how I have abandoned them and quickly, I manufacture flimsy excuses in response/defense. It happens by default; I just close that chapter. I’m sure I’m not her only male friend that has cut her off (God forgive us allJ). Worse still is the fact that the society will lure her into truncating her relationship with other single female friends. She starts to learn to develop friendships with her husband’s friends’ wives, or if she’s lucky enough, with other married women and then later, her children’s friends’ mums… and so on and so forth… You can imagine how boring life could be if the girl was a ‘tomboy’ (a girl whom 99% of her friends are males).


There’s a life we live to fulfill our personal desires and there’s another life the society makes us live to maintain our status. How do we correlate these two sides of our lives? (1) As a married man (to be), to what extent would you let your spouse ‘catch her groove’? (2)And if you are a woman/lady, to what extent would you like your husband (to be) to set you free? (3)What are the pros & cons of letting our women a little bit ‘free’? (4) How much freedom can a married woman handle in our society today? Are Nigerian women really enjoying marriage or just fulfilling destiny?


I expect that you would request for my definition for ‘groove.’ Well, my definition for groove in this article is “deriving desired fun or attention that is not a sin.” Don’t you dare ask me to define sin also!


Frank Oje
President